Friday, November 18, 2005

I must be the worst friend in the world. Okay, I'm exaggerating but...

When you are down, I won't comfort you unless somebody close to you died.

When you are happy, I get angry because you are happy and I dislike it when people are happy.

When people are upset, I get happy because I am not upset.

I didn't laugh and cry with you and yet, I am still counted as a friend.

I won't backstab you unless you do it first and when you do it, I will be extremely horrible to you.

When you tell me your troubles, I feel irritated that I have to listen all your troubles.

I don't forgive, I don't forget and yet, I am still counted as a friend.

I laugh at you, not with you.

If I think you are stupid, I will say you are stupid.

If you are smart, I compete with you.

And... I don't regret being such a friend.

I may be the worst friend in the world but I don't care. I don't care for any of you, Inez, Glynis, Valerie, Shermaine, Denise, Lijuan and so on. I admit I once cared alot for all of you but one day, I realised how different we were. I don't know if you treat me as a friend but I know that to me, you are just people I talk to and smile at, fakely. I just want to get higher than all of you during PSLE. I want to be the best.

Why am I not in depression if I don't have friends? I have loads of them. Fake ones. The only real friend I have talks to me all the time, argues with me, cries with me, laughs with me, agrees with me on most things, loves me, will never leave me and will never backstab me. She is myself. The only real friend I have is myself. My family is my family, they are not my friends. I love them but it's just different.

Sometimes, I feel I am lying through my teeth. I'm not sure if I mean what I say but I'm sure I'm not sad about graduating. I have too many regrets and I have told too many lies. I realised I do have things that I lie about. If I were given a chance, I would not have lied. Now that I have already lied, I can't reveal the truth. I don't want to, the whole thing would be too embarassing for me to bear.

One lie, two lies, three lies... left to be untold.

Those three lies are going to haunt me for a long time.

Goodbye, my friends, classmates, enemies and teachers. Let's just all be honest.
Sayonara! Annyong! =))

HUG(: